Mandatory Applause

[Except for the lines in square brackets, this is a poem to be performed aloud. ‘Mandatory Applause’ was first performed on the 9th of October 2017 in Perth, Australia for a small university class.]

I glance up at the crowd.

And I begin.

I stut-stutter? No

Dry throat. Take a breath

[I take a breath]

I glance up at the crowd.

One pair of eyes telling me: go

You got this. You’re doing great

I continue

Buuut I see the rest of the crowd

Um Shaky voice

And my mind of me berates

Trapped air. Swallow it down,

[I gulp]

Apologise. Sorry. A nervous laugh

I glance up at the crowd

It’s no joke

“Uuuuuuuuuuum”

I’ve lost my line,

…

And I find it after a shaky ‘um’ that lasts too long

~nope

I skip a joke I’m not confident enough to deliver

My heart’s beating loud as I

glance up at the crowd

I glance up at the crowd