Pretty much every story in existence

I’m writing this just to say that I’ve written pretty much every story in existence. There, that’s how I’ll begin. This is ‘Pretty Much Every Story in Existence’ and I’ve just written it. You can’t tell me I haven’t.

But what should every story have? Mystery? Action? Love? Not this story. This is a story about me writing something so frustratingly pointless that it’s good enough (hopefully) to incite abstract thought for you to draw your own conclusion. That’s it. That’s what ‘Pretty Much Every Story in Existence’ is about. It’s a bunch of ideas put together for you to interpret yourself.

Now that you’ve realised that there’s nothing of substance in this story, you’re bound to lose a bit of interest as we approach the peripeteia. Suddenly, to grab your attention, the story reveals the course of its narrative: Wasting your time. Just a minute of it. There. That’s your anagnorisis.

And as we approach the end, you’ve begun to understand the true reason I wrote this story. Was it really just to say that I’ve written pretty much every story in existence? Was it really to waste your time? Should I bow and answer questions about a sequel? Should I apologise? Read again. Or don’t.